Routine or schedule

A regular course of procedure vs. a timetable

Someone has to be the leader and its going to be me or the toddlers. I have to at least try to be in charge. haha.

I am one of 7 kids, had a nanny job from ages 14-17, worked in a day care, worked in children’s ministry, nannied as an adult and then had my Ethan… he’s almost 5 now. Holy moly.

Here he is...

Now look at him...

sigh.


ok, what was I talking about.

schedules. right.

I learned the value of routine and consistency early on as a mom. It’s important for their sakes to learn things, and for my sake to keep sanity. It’s a good thing I discovered this early because I never expected to have 3 under 3! Ah, my sweet feisty baby girl. You were a great surprise. I am beyond blessed to stay at home with my kids. But anyone who tells you its not a job is lying. the end.

Overall, most of my “mom life”, I have had some sort of routine. Sometimes I feel like every time I get in a routine something happens and changes it all up… which forces me to analyze the disruption and switch to a new routine. Sigh. So goes life with babies/toddlers. But it’s important to find one or else your life will be chaotic which brings no good fruit. I like to think of it as... my job is to make sure EVERYONE is thriving. We are a family unit. The kids need to thrive, I need to thrive and my husband needs to thrive. That’s healthy. Unhealthy is putting your kids first.  Now that doesn’t mean most of my days aren’t sacrificial. I’ll be honest. They are. But I make sure that I take care of myself  and that I work on who I am apart from my kids. I make sure I work on my marriage and remember I am a wife too.

Schedule????!!!

As infants, I followed babywise method loosely to get my kids to sleep through the night and establish eating patterns (babywise is a series of books). We have always had set nap and eating times. Sleep and meal times keep things sane around here. When Ava (aka. Princess) was born, I needed to have more than a routine and had to stick to a schedule. This is when I had 3 under 3, my husband was finishing college and I was leading worship at our church. I leaned into a friend who is very scheduled with her kids. In fact she has a mega excel sheet she created and uses! It was great source of information and sparked lots of ideas for me.  I stuck to it for Ava’s 1^st 6 months. My friend does blanket time, room time, basement time, table time, TV time, and book time with her kids throughout her day along with all the eating and sleeping times of course.  

As soon as Ava started getting older.... I think she was about this age....
baby girl. 
agghhhh. so cute.

I began to realize I couldn’t do the schedule anymore. It made me hate my life.  While I needed a routine and order, a schedule made me feel trapped.  I think its so important to know yourself AND be strong enough in who you are that you can take advice from other people. We can all learn things from each other and I can honestly say I am SO thankful for all the wonderful moms and families I have learned and gained wisdom from.

But when you take that wisdom you have to know yourself, your kids, your husband, who you are, what makes you tick, what stresses you out and then you have to be the caretaker of your garden and find what works.  If something is NOT working, you need to know it’s really worth trying to make it better! Reach out to other moms, read, research. Try to fix the problem that’s making life difficult always knowing who you are (your strengths and weakness). It’s worth it for your health, the health of your home, your relationship with your husband and ultimately your children’s future.

Every mom should have a stress list and should try to work on it. I know many of you may have a lot more stressful things in your life than me. I have the utmost respect for moms who have a few little ones and work full time. Especially those who work from home. I call the things on my list mom stress b/c they so minimal compared to some of the problems families face everyday. I understand that. These are everyday little stresses. I believe if you can help their be less stress in small areas it will help keep you and your home/family full of life. It will ultimetly promote life everywhere else

Here’s my "mom" stress list:

1.    Mess outside of the play room (I need a tidy house or I feel stressed. Eh. not always a good mix with 3 little ones. I try.)

What I do about it:

-         My kids know where their coat and shoes go and put them away (well Jace is learning and Ava will- it’s a process but we have a goal!)

-         Toys are always redirected back to the play room throughout the day

-          Play room and house is picked up at the end of the day so we start fresh every day. I have the kids help sometimes, sometimes not. I don’t bug Brent about it. It’s my issue.  I want everything in its place for the morning. So if that takes me 15 min each night before I go to bed, I do it.

-          Dishwasher is unloaded  from the day before at lunch (while kids are eating) then loaded from the morning dishes, after dinner we finish loading and run it. We do this every day

-          I make my bed every day and my room is always clean (I know, I am a freak. I actually probably make the bed b/c I got a demerit in bible school for an "unkempt" bed one year J)

-          Kids clean up their rooms when we are done playing upstairs

2.    Constant list of house chores to do

What I do about it:

-          I have 2 laundry days – I don’t do it any other time. I sort, wash and put away those 2 days

-          I thoroughly clean 1 day a week, only the kitchen is cleaned up and the main area vacuumed daily (ok, sometimes there are a few messes around here that I have to clean up other times)

3.    No down/ uninterrupted time during the day

What I do about it:

-          Everybody has rest/quiet time in the afternoon (unless someone decides to be difficult or wake someone up. This happens 10% of the time)

-          I try to keep up with as much as possible while they are awake so that I can actually have “downtime”- which usually means take a shower & read/spend time with Jesus. It doesn’t always happens but it’s always my goal.

4.    Things are to scheduled

What I do about it

-          I am nuts. Although I like a schedule during the week, if I stick to that on the weekend I would shoot myself. There is no schedule for the weekend. We do fun stuff together; we try to fellowship with people as much as possible and serve when we can. We make sure everyone eats, gets a nap and goes to bed and has as much fun as possible.

5.    Brent & I don’t connect (I am really glad this stresses me out. Haha. Probably a good thing)

What I do about it

-          Try to get at least 15 min to have adult talk on week nights. Yes. this is our reality.

-          I always try to make sure we do something intentional over the weekend.   If we can’t get out alone we eat dinner after the kids have gone to bed. We will order out or do fun appetizers. Watch a movie, listen to a teaching, etc. We try to have some sort of date 1x a month out alone.

If you take the above and throw preschool drop off/ pick up, meal times, nap times, dinner time, bed time in there- that’s my weekday schedule. As we go through the day I use table time, room time, basement time etc. as needed. Most of the time during the day I let them do what they want to. If they are getting bored or into trouble, I suggest “Do you want to do this or this?”

Little cuties. Don't they look like angels???

They make big messes though.



Like this. heres the play room.



I have an errands day, laundry days, cleaning day, and organizing/plan day (I make calls, plans, return emails and I plan 5 meals for a week (but I don’t always stick to them, I know, I am such a rebel). The days I do these things change every week but I look at each week and figure out what works.

Some days I have many things to do and it requires more organization on my part. I mostly schedule myself around their routine. It can get crazy and takes lots of multi tasking but that’s why we women are so amazing, right?????

There's a look inside my life. I am glad it's the weekend. no routine or schedule!! :)