Any sane mother would have stopped things right there...

So today I took the kids outside to play after the rain from the morning subsided. I always make sure they have rainboots every year. what kid doesn't love rainboots???


I snapped a picture on my cell phone because they looked so cute.

I couldn't take the cuteness and I decided I needed better pictures... so I ran inside and got the good camera...



everyone was sharing and it was going lovely.

Ava was of course eating the chalk but whats new??



And then the babies decided stirring the mud puddle wasn't enough...

Which got Ethan's attention for sure...

and he decided to join in.

And then.... the jumping started...

Any sane mother would have stopped things right there.

I think I am not sane. Ava was just giggling so much. I couldn't stop it.

And things just... well, went downhill fast.

Look at the height Ethan gets!

Then somehow... the princess went from THIS....



To THIS...

and I sprayed off their stuff.... let them drink from the hose...



I took them in stripped them down in the garage.

carried Ava as far out in front of me as possible.

and put them in the tub.

While they were in the tub we had a long talk about how today was fun and special and tommorow when we play outside... we WON'T play in the mud.

Fingers crossed, prayers prayed and here's hoping they won't forget.

Signing off,

The Insane mother

serenity now

I have a few mom problems lately. I figure I will confess on here. Maybe it will help me. haha. My oh, so amazing husband is gone this week... so maybe that's what's put me over the edge... but I feel like I have been a little more on edge the last month or so... my kids are at these stages that I just don't feel like I can get to all of them effectively.

So here's my problems and what I am working on.
I am impatient and sometimes just want my kids to "fall in line" rather than taking the time to STOP what I am doing and help them or teach them. The point is not to dictate them but to shepherd them. COME ON AUTUMN, you know this! I forget that THEY are always the main priority NOT 99% of the other things I am doing.

I procrastinate and then try to rush and do things. This worked well most of my life... but I keep forgetting that I have 3 little kids who need me to help them with most everything. then we all get stressed. not cool.


so, here we go. I am praying this.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change The things that I can , and The Wisdom to know The Difference.

and while I am at it... this:
God grant me Serenity to accept and appreciate each child's uniqueness.
Courage to guide them to become the best they can be, and Wisdom to let You lead the way.

pizza, pasta, help.

I have a big problem.

Big one.

I think it’s one of my biggest problems at my new location.

You see, I just moved from Ohio… to New Jersey…

I have decided they should call NJ the land of Pasta, Pizza, Diners and Bagels.

So…. the Pasta and Pizza.

I moved to a nice little town. It’s not so big… it’s actually pretty small.

But it’s big enough that apparently there is need for 7 pasta & pizza joints within 5 minutes of my house

7.

Within 15 minutes there are probably 50.

And these are NOT your Domino/Pizza Hut/Olive Garden type of pasta and pizza joints.

They probably all have relatives who live or lived in Italy.

Once you eat their magical food you would never eat at one of those restaurants mentioned above. I promise. I don’t even know how you can compare the pizza.

And you want to know what else? The nicest people work there!! Most every place I have been, know half their customers by name. The last place we visited, the owner took us on a full tour, explained that it’s been owned for 3 generations and then we meet his mother. I am not joking. His true authentic Italian mother was sitting outside of the kitchen.  And when my order came it was the BEST pasta I have ever eaten.

Someone help. This is all my family wants to eat now. I lost 40 pounds last year. Pasta is like a food drug for me.

Help.

Eat THIS, NOT that #3

So today while searching for something to post- I came across this website.

Consume THIS first

I LOVE IT!!! Its basically a lot of the information I have come across on my own and gives a LOT of good information on what brands to buy in the store and what to look for.

If you read the write up on her page, she makes the comment that we can VOTE with our dollars. This is SO true and is also stated in the movie FOOD, INC (please watch it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efbe82kvmpo ... you have to watch all the parts).

Everytime a consumer buys a product its like a vote saying "we want this kind of food and not this other crap/ non food". The more consumers buy healthy food, the more food will change back to being "real" and the more REAL food products we will find.

Here is a quote from her page that I love:
"Don't be a mindless Zombie. Know whats in your food and make a concious decision about whether or not to eat it".

I used to be a mindless zombie but when I started learning, I could no longer NOT care. Food has changed more in the last 50 years than the 2,000 before that. Many of those changes have made food not real. Scary thought as to how that will long term cause our bodies to react. God created the REAL food for a reason.

She has a Eat this, not that section just like I started. Here is a video where she talks about bread:

Check out her site, lots of good information.

friends with God

Having kids makes me reconsider my theology constantly. They ask me questions... and then I have to try to formulate my beliefs in language they understand. Eh. and then I scratch my head and go "why do I think that?" Do I think that because its biblical or because that's the Christians culture I grew up with? Many things I grew up believing have barely any biblical base. They are theories or doctrines not always grounded in scripture that is blatantly clear.
In my search to have my Christianity grounded on what New Testament Christians looked like, I find myself constantly asking God to re-knew my mind.

So today Ethan says, Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross. Then he asks "tell me why He died on the cross again?" We have had this conversation a few times over the last week with Easter coming up and all.

So I took a deep breath and tried to remember the things I don't want to say...

i don't want to say, Jesus died so that you don't have to go to hell
Jesus died because you are bad
Jesus died for you to be saved and raptured to heaven
Jesus died for you to go to heaven

Why don't I want to say these things?
I don't ever want my kids to feel afraid that at any time God is going to come back and pour his wrath out and if they didn't ask Jesus in their heart, they will be in big trouble. I don't want them walking around expecting bad things to come at any moment so they better behave. I also don't ever want them to think that the whole point is to get into heaven.

I could say a lot about all that. Because thats the way I felt as a kid ALL THE TIME. I just don't believe thats the heart of God OR that you can even clearly draw that picture scripturally. I know, I know some of you might think I am a heretic as you are reading this. I know its the language so many of us have heard. I just don't think its the point of the "gospel of the kingdom".

so this is what I blurted out,
Jesus died to make a way for you to be friends with God.

then I started crying... and continued...

God created you to be his friend. Bad choices can make it hard to be God's friend. There used to be lots of rules people had to follow and it wasn't working. so God sent Jesus and by him dying it made a way for EVERYONE that wants to, to feel his love and be his friend. He wants us to be his friends because he can do ANYTHING and when we are his friends he can show us how to be like him. God created you to be like Jesus. You can only be like Jesus when you are friends with God. God wants Ethan, Jace and Ava to be his friends.

That's really what it comes down to for me. I know there is a whole lot of other jargon you can throw in there. But it takes you away from the main thing. Relationship. Jesus said I only do what my father says. I am thankful for the way that Jesus made so that we can be friends with God and partner together bringing his kingdom wherever and whatever we are doing. Its not about going to heaven for me. Sure, I will be there someday. But until then, I pray what he told us to pray: Your kingdom come, your will be done on EARTH as it is in heaven.

digging for gold

 ***warning I am totally going to brag on my kid***

Just wanna give props to my 4 yr old.

Sweet boy. he's little bit of a goof ball too.

Things have  been a bit off kilter here the last 2 weeks. We have had a lot going on and things can easily get off balance… then we get stressed… and ya know, we aren’t perfect.

But this boy. I swear he knows if things are rough.

Maybe its part of being the oldest. I have a feeling I was that way when I was younger growing up the 2^nd oldest of 8.

On days like yesterday it seems he never melts down, helps clean up, corrects the babies, gives me extra hugs, plays well and helps take care of things. My personal favorite is when he puts his hand on his head and sighs deeply (basically mimicking me exactly). Ok, well maybe that’s just scary.

He’s not perfect. He’s come a long way in the last 6 months though. That is when he first started experiencing anger and acting out…. I’ll admit- I was scared to death. But we’ve worked a lot together. He still messes up… like when he kicked my leg the other day when I told him No about buying something. I gave him 2 choices as a consequence and he picked one immediately telling me he was sorry and asking for forgiveness. (I am reading a great book called "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent child"- its helped me a lot)

This year he also has started trying to develop a sense of humor... hahaha. Because social skills aren't natural to him- he can be a bit dry- which makes it all the more funny to me.

If you try to talk to him he will probably hide or may even give you a mean look. Don’t take it personally; he has a hard time coming out of his shell. He’s an introvert. When he’s a bit more comfortable he will talk to you. If I leave you with my kids, he will show you where everything is, help play with his brother and sister and make sure you know all the rules. J

He can be a bit high maintenance about things and get stressed but this is also what makes him brilliant and creative. I love to watch him play and create things. I especially love his art. He loves art. He uses so much color and comes up with some pretty deep things for a 4 year old.

Like this picture he drew on the driveway.

He told Brent that the people in the picture needed to walk through the doors to see the sunshine and trees. They couldn’t see them until they walked through the doors. Pretty deep, profound word for a kid.

Ethan will be 5 in July, we thought we might hold him back from starting school this Fall but after talking with his teacher and the principle, they are certain that he is ready for kindergarten. I was surprised with how sure they were as they advice many parents to hold their kids back (especially boys).

But Ethan they said is different. He has not had one discipline issue. He works hard and even when he came in the middle of the year with a learning curve, he caught up in a matter of weeks. One of the assistants in his class said, he is so smart and he never needs help. He watches intently how to do something, figures it out, and then does it. He is at the top of his class. He has had no problem making friends either and gets along with everyone.

One day Ethan came home and told me that his friend Justin is always going into time out.

I replied, Aww, that’s to bad. Its important to make good choices. Who is your best friend at school?

“Justin”, Ethan blurts out

“Really?” I ask

“Yea” Ethan says, “because he’s like the Grinch. He has pain in his heart but he’s still good.”

Wow. What a kid. Parenting him this last year has had its challenges but I always ask God to help us find the gold and pull it out of him. When God exposes a problem in us, it’s just an opportunity for greatness to come out or be developed. I try to remind myself of this when I am dealing with my kids. We are digging for gold. Ethan has responded amazingly this year. I can’t wait to see what God does with this boy.

why some mothers go mad

I have a lot of things to do today. It's one of those days where I just really need my kids to be AMAZING. No melt downs, fighting, freak outs, craziness. I need them to be helpful, good listeners, play by themselves and not get into any trouble.

I tried to tell the 4, 2 and 1 yr old this but they seemed to forget right away... like first thing this morning.

So, let me draw a picture for you of what our mornings look like.... Everyone gets up, we change diapers, some of us get dressed and we go downstairs. This next part is very important. We babies (the 2 and 1 yr old) get a cup of milk and a bottle of milk. It's most urgent that we get this right away or we will probably have an immediate melt down.

Here are the culprits of this mornings events:

So, today I get Jace's milk and I warm up Ava's bottle and I turn around to put the top on it and its NO WHERE. And I ask the 2 and 1 year old where they put it.

Nada. they give me nothing.

so I get on my hands and knees. and scour the floor.

nowhere.

I open the fridge and look everywhere.

I empty the dishwasher (thinking Jace may have put it in there because it was open during the milk process)

it's not with the clean dishes.

Meanwhile Ava is getting more and more agitated and upset.

So I put the milk in her sippy cup.

She takes one look at it and throws it. and begins full force screaming.

We only have one bottle in this house. This is not looking good.

SO, my heart is starting to race and I am asking the 2 and 1 yr old again, "where did you put the bottle top!!!???!!!". They just look at me. Except now Jace is covering his ears and yelling "It's to loud!!!" because Ava is screaming at the top of her lungs.

So, I go back into the kitchen and do the following:

1. crawl on my hands and knees on the floor
2. empty the entire top of my fridge
3. look in the microwave
4. open every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen
5. look in the dishwasher
6. look in the dirty dishes in the sink
7. look in the garbage and in the garbage disposal

Did I mention that at this point Ethan is up in his room screaming and crying "mamas!!!!" because apparently he was upset that we came downstairs without him and he was pretty darn ticked about it.

So I throw my hands up in the air and am about to start crying myself and all of the sudden a light bulb goes off in my head...

and I run in the living room and say "Jace, give me your milk cup!"

I open it.

There is the bottle top.

Ava gets her bottle, Ethan and I have a talk, Jace is happy everyone is calm, they all get their breakfast and I need counselling.

Eat THIS, Not THAT #2

So, lets talk about Pasta.

mmmmmmmmm. Its my fav. I could probably eat it everyday. no joke. But I only make it 1x a week and sometimes may eat it over the weekend. My kids LOVE noodles! What kid doesn't??!! So I tend to feed them pasta more often than Brent & I. That makes it pretty important for me to make a good choice!

So what pasta is bad for you?

White Pasta. very bad. I only make it for holidays if then. We have cut it out almost entirely.

So, lets talk about why is white pasta bad?

One of the main reasons why you should avoid white pasta in your diet is because this popular staple is made largely from refined white flour. Refined white flour in itself contains almost no dietary goodness in itself and its consumption can have negative effects on health.

Eating white pasta can be likened to eating cardboard, because although it tastes a little better, cardboard probably contains more goodness! The lack of nutrients in white pasta may not make it such a bad thing to eat on its own, but it’s the bad constituents of white pasta that make it such a bad deal when it comes to your general health and weight.

First of all, just like white bread (which we NEVER eat), white pasta contains a large amount of high GI (glycemic index) carbohydrates. That means that the carbohydrates contained in pasta made from refined white flour will release sugars into the bloodstream quickly. This causes a steep rise in blood sugar and a similarly steep reactive rise in the body’s sugar regulating hormone, insulin in order to counter its effects. So many foods do this and that's why we see such an increase in diabetes. Remember how I said I could eat pasta everyday? Its like a sugar treat - it does the same thing to your body as a chocolate bar and contains nothing good for you. Its a feel good food.

The effect on the body’s metabolism is to slow it down, while inhibiting efficient digestion. The result is more fat storage, with those fat cells generally being deposited around the belly. This, as you have probably already figured out is a leading cause of weight gain in people who eat a lot of refined flour products, not least of those being white pasta.

So this is what you DON'T want to eat. Not any brand. White pasta- NO NO!! Make it once it a while for lasagna or eat once in a while while out but NOT as your regular diet.

DON'T EAT THIS!!

Eat THIS instead:

I LOVE BARILLA PLUS PASTA!!! So do my kids. Its great. Its a Multi grain pasta. Much more fiber and protein and lots of good ingredients. Barilla plus tastes similar to white and doesn't have a strong wheat flavor some do not like. It also mixes better with a variety of toppings.

We also eat Whole wheat pasta. Whole wheat pasta is even better for you than Barilla plus. There are lots of different brands. We like this and other.

We like whole wheat pasta the best with a Red Sauce (always low sugar) or tossed with veggies and olive oil and a bit of Parmesan.

Choose your everyday staples wisely!

my 80's song to God

So, I've been in a strange spot with God.

I don't know if that's the way to put it... but I have been searching big time. We had a lot of transition in our life the last few months but its beyond that. A lot of things have happened around my life that, at times, have caused me to question God. A lot of times I ask "God, who are you?"

Sometimes I think that I haven't even scratched the surface of having a relationship with God. I want more. I see people everyday and break down crying because I want to give the heart of God to them and quite honestly, I don't feel that in sync with heaven like Jesus was. He only knew and did what the father gave him. I can't get his heart fast enough.

I have been thinking about how much God loves us and how much his goodness abounds. You know, God sent his son into the world not to condemn. that's right, not to condemn but to make a way for us to have access to a relationship and become sons of God.  Bill Johnson says, The Son of God became a Son of man so that the son's of men could become son's of God.

I have no idea what it means to act and think like a son of God.

So I was driving in the car with 2 of the kiddos (we were peeping in peoples yards at all their swing sets trying to figure out what we want). God & I were having this conversation and I was sharing how I want to act and think like a son (daughter) of God and how I want to see more fruit. Just like I changed my thinking towards the way I raise my kids and now I see better fruit. That it has to be parallel in my relationship with God. I think he is saying, all along you've been told this is who I am and it made you act and do things like this. But thats not me. It never was. THIS is who I am and THIS is who I created you to be.

And all the sudden I just started singing at the top of my lungs...
"I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME!!!"

What?? where on earth did that 80s song pop up from???

Well, here it is. my song to God right now.

outwit vs- power struggle

Today I had enough.

ENOUGH I tell you.

We call him the Jace Meister for a reason. He is very meisterly in his ways. haha.

His recent 2 yr old meisterness is listed below.

1. He likes to make messes. Sometimes he goes into the play room and dumps every toy bin within 2 minutes.
2. He likes to get out of bed. 20x at night and at nap.

Today I had enough. Nothing has been working. Not the talking or the time outs or taking things away.

So I thought this morning. duh. I am not using my brain. I am trying to "win the war". I've pulled out all my guns and my son decided he would pull out all his too. And instead of entering the power struggle with him, I need to outwit him. mwhaha. This is something I have learned from my childhood book reading (see earlier posts).

So, I moved the toys. Now almost all of the bins and tubs and block holders are out of his reach. I told him as soon as he can be a big boy and not dump them we will take them down. Until then he has to ask, only can have one thing and has to pick them up when he's finished.

We also purchased 2 extra night lights and we gave them to him as a prize tonight. He was so excited. Brent & I were silently laughing. We then explained that he could do all his bed time stuff (brush teeth, pee, etc) and then his room was closed and locked for the night. We didn't want to see him until the morning. Now don't freak out, I am going to go unlock it before I go to bed. He has friends in bed with him, his cd player on, his blanket and now 3 night lights on. He has a boundary and now I don't have to run up and down the stairs 25x to remind him about it.

I outwitted the 2 year old. Go me.

the language has changed

Some things have changed at our house over the last year. Ok, well a LOT has changed. Moving to a new house/state would was certainly a big change.

But we also have changed the language at our house.

Here's my conversation with Ethan this last weekend:

Ethan:  Dada's made a bad choice today.
Me: Really? what did he do?
Ethan: He was cutting with his very sharp saw and he didn't wear his gloves. He cut his finger so bad. There was lots of blood.
Me: yeah I saw his cut, it was bleeding a lot.
Ethan: He needs to wear his gloves. That was a bad choice. Next time he will remember.


I sat in the car thinking to myself. "Wow.This kid is a genius. How on earth did he put all that together?" I asked Brent if he talked to him about his injury and he said No.

And while Ethan is a pretty head smart kid, I realized he put that together because of the changes in our home over the last year. I hear my kids say a lot of things like the above example. They are learning that they are responsible for their messes. They have to clean them up or make things right with the person. They have choices to make. We aren't controlling them, they have ownership. We changed our entire language and process with our kids.

I don't want to give you the picture like Brent & I are always calm, cool and collected. Eh. That is NOT true. We mess up. a lot. Sometimes we have to ask our kids for forgiveness. Our kids aren't perfect, they are learning. We aren't perfect, we are learning. But the course our family was taking has changed. The way we handle and discipline our kids has changed. And I can't tell you how much better long term fruit we see in our kids.

You can read more about these changes here (this is a note I wrote up on facebook a while ago, I just copied it for my blog):
http://unorthodoxhousewife.blogspot.com/p/my-process-of-disciplining-my-kids.html

Mama and Recipe's

So, my mom called me 2 days ago and asked me for some recipe's.

I almost cried.


It may not seem like a big deal to you.

But it was to me.

You see, my mom had a stroke over 4 years ago after she had heart surgery. I had no idea the depth that this would affect my family. Everything changed for everyone. I mean, what do you do when the rock of the family now needs all of you? My mom was such a different person.  She had a lot of recovery to go through. I know she felt so lost. Everything was jumbled up for her. She felt like she was learning everything for the 1st time.

I will never forget my 1st visit home after her stroke. My mom was ALWAYS in the kitchen. That's where I remember her as a kid. In the kitchen cooking, baking... doing something. She lived for family get-together's, especially when all her kids were home. She's got 8 of us. It's a small army.

This 1st visit after her stroke, no food was made, there was no plan and no one knew what to do. It was then I realized how much the stroke had affected her. We figured something out and have been doing the same thing since.

So when my mom called and said "So, I am doing something for Josiah's birthday. I was thinking Mexican. Can I have some recipes?" You would see why 4 years later my eyes welled up with tears and I choked them back and replied "Great idea! Sure, I have some recipes."

She's come a long way. I love my mom.

Eat THIS, not THAT.

OK, so before I get into this post I should tell you that I STILL have to force my kids to eat their vegetables many times. sigh. Its frustrating. I have tried pretty hard to land on the healthy side of eating. I would say on a scale of 1-10 we are between a 6-7 most days. I don't do all Organic but I try to make the best choices I can.

Some people misunderstand eating healthy as "you just want to be skinny". Sure. I want to be skinny. But I can honestly say changing our eating habits and the brands we buy has NOTHING to do with me wanting to be skinny.

A few years ago, I was exposed to a few moms that would read every label at events. I'll be honest. It was kind of annoying and made me feel a bit defensive. I put it off thinking, "her kids probably have allergies".

And sure. I found out some of them did. But then someone told me to look up some ingredients on labels.

and so... to Google I went!

and I almost threw up. EWWWW. We really have NO idea what we are eating AND in addition many researchers are convinced that the increase in certain disease's we see is directly linked to the changes in food. scary.

Those of you that know me well, know that I had a sister die of cancer at 11. During my sisters sickness, my mom learned a LOT about food and changed our families eating habits. I was young at the time and didn't really get it. But here I was a few years ago, in my 20's, reading this information and completely understanding the changes my mom made.

Who hasn't watched Food Inc ????

You really have too. You need to at least know WHAT you are eating. Denial is bliss but at what cost?? I would rather choose to be educated about the food I am eating, how its made, what it's made of, how it digests (or doesn't digest is probably more common), etc. Most food isn't even food anymore.

You can watch it on You Tube.

Here wait, I will get the link for you:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpv4BsmDUM8&feature=related

There you go. I made it easy. You have to watch all 9 videos. Let me know if you need the other links, I will get them for you. Don't make excuses just watch it. You can even rent it.

OK, So here's my first post on EAT THIS INSTEAD OF THAT. I am going to do it weekly. Today we will talk about Chicken Nuggets. I know most of us know that the Mcdonalds ones suck. haha. Lets look at the differences in the store frozen brand. I try to make my own often, I will post a recipe for those. But most of us need some fast meals on hand and many moms will feed chicken nuggets to their kids. Kids love them, they are advertised everywhere.

** Disclaimer ** these package stats posted below will constantly change in the store. Food products are constantly changing, This is why you need to always check your labels and understand what certain ingredients are.

Purdue Chicken Nuggets:

They look innocent enough. In fact their website and package proudly displays 0 trans fat!!! Just look up some of the ingredients I highlighted and then compare the the STATS list of the two food products. Notice the difference in Fat, Oils used and sodium. Along with all the additives. Also notice how the flour in the Purdue is enriched with all sorts of good additives. Right. The Earths Best just uses whole wheat flour. Sounds so much easier than adding all those good, fake additives.

Perdue' package:

Ingredients:
Chicken breast with rib meat, water, dried whole eggs, seasoning (salt, onion powder, modified corn starch, natural flavor), and sodium phosphates.
BREADED WITH: Enriched unbleached wheat flour (enriched with niacin, ferrous sulfate, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, dextrose, iodized salt, yellow corn flour, modified corn starch, dried whey, soy flour, sugar, spices, caramel color, garlic powder, methylcellulose, artificial oleoresin paprika, spice extractive. Breading set in vegetable oil.

STATS per serving:

       Calories 260 

       Total Fat 16g

•        Saturated Fat 4g
• Trans Fat 0g
• Polyunsaturated Fat 5g
• Monounsaturated Fat 6g

• Cholesterol 75mg
• Sodium 450mg

Earth's Best Chicken Nuggets

These nuggets taste AWESOME and have whole grain breading along with a much better ingredient list. They are a bit more expensive. Maybe $1-$2 a package depending on your store.

Earths Best package:

Chicken Meat, Water, Contains Less than 2% of the Following: Evaporated Cane Juice, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Rice Starch, Sea Salt, Spice. Battered & Breaded with: Whole Wheat Flour, Water, Wheat Flour, Corn Starch, Evaporated Cane Juice, Sea Salt, Leavening (Baking Soda, Cream of Tartar), Garlic Powder, Yellow Corn Flour, Yeast, Onion Powder, Spice, Sunflower Oil, Extractive of Turmeric. Breading Set in Expeller Pressed Canola Oil and/or Soybean Oil and/or Safflower Oil.

STATS per serving
Calories 120
Total Fat 3g

• Saturated Fat 0g 0%

• Cholesterol 25mg
• Sodium 270mg

Weaver and Banquet brand nuggets are basically the same as Purdue. Banquet is even a bit worse.  Tyson has recently changed their nugget recipe to much better ingredients however their fat stats stay the same because of the bad oil they fry them in.
PS. Don't ever buy chicken that says Mechanically seperated chicken. Just look that up. Try not to throw up.

Read your labels. If you get nothing else from this blog, that would be enough.

Routine or schedule

A regular course of procedure vs. a timetable

Someone has to be the leader and its going to be me or the toddlers. I have to at least try to be in charge. haha.

I am one of 7 kids, had a nanny job from ages 14-17, worked in a day care, worked in children’s ministry, nannied as an adult and then had my Ethan… he’s almost 5 now. Holy moly.

Here he is...

Now look at him...

sigh.


ok, what was I talking about.

schedules. right.

I learned the value of routine and consistency early on as a mom. It’s important for their sakes to learn things, and for my sake to keep sanity. It’s a good thing I discovered this early because I never expected to have 3 under 3! Ah, my sweet feisty baby girl. You were a great surprise. I am beyond blessed to stay at home with my kids. But anyone who tells you its not a job is lying. the end.

Overall, most of my “mom life”, I have had some sort of routine. Sometimes I feel like every time I get in a routine something happens and changes it all up… which forces me to analyze the disruption and switch to a new routine. Sigh. So goes life with babies/toddlers. But it’s important to find one or else your life will be chaotic which brings no good fruit. I like to think of it as... my job is to make sure EVERYONE is thriving. We are a family unit. The kids need to thrive, I need to thrive and my husband needs to thrive. That’s healthy. Unhealthy is putting your kids first.  Now that doesn’t mean most of my days aren’t sacrificial. I’ll be honest. They are. But I make sure that I take care of myself  and that I work on who I am apart from my kids. I make sure I work on my marriage and remember I am a wife too.

Schedule????!!!

As infants, I followed babywise method loosely to get my kids to sleep through the night and establish eating patterns (babywise is a series of books). We have always had set nap and eating times. Sleep and meal times keep things sane around here. When Ava (aka. Princess) was born, I needed to have more than a routine and had to stick to a schedule. This is when I had 3 under 3, my husband was finishing college and I was leading worship at our church. I leaned into a friend who is very scheduled with her kids. In fact she has a mega excel sheet she created and uses! It was great source of information and sparked lots of ideas for me.  I stuck to it for Ava’s 1^st 6 months. My friend does blanket time, room time, basement time, table time, TV time, and book time with her kids throughout her day along with all the eating and sleeping times of course.  

As soon as Ava started getting older.... I think she was about this age....
baby girl. 
agghhhh. so cute.

I began to realize I couldn’t do the schedule anymore. It made me hate my life.  While I needed a routine and order, a schedule made me feel trapped.  I think its so important to know yourself AND be strong enough in who you are that you can take advice from other people. We can all learn things from each other and I can honestly say I am SO thankful for all the wonderful moms and families I have learned and gained wisdom from.

But when you take that wisdom you have to know yourself, your kids, your husband, who you are, what makes you tick, what stresses you out and then you have to be the caretaker of your garden and find what works.  If something is NOT working, you need to know it’s really worth trying to make it better! Reach out to other moms, read, research. Try to fix the problem that’s making life difficult always knowing who you are (your strengths and weakness). It’s worth it for your health, the health of your home, your relationship with your husband and ultimately your children’s future.

Every mom should have a stress list and should try to work on it. I know many of you may have a lot more stressful things in your life than me. I have the utmost respect for moms who have a few little ones and work full time. Especially those who work from home. I call the things on my list mom stress b/c they so minimal compared to some of the problems families face everyday. I understand that. These are everyday little stresses. I believe if you can help their be less stress in small areas it will help keep you and your home/family full of life. It will ultimetly promote life everywhere else

Here’s my "mom" stress list:

1.    Mess outside of the play room (I need a tidy house or I feel stressed. Eh. not always a good mix with 3 little ones. I try.)

What I do about it:

-         My kids know where their coat and shoes go and put them away (well Jace is learning and Ava will- it’s a process but we have a goal!)

-         Toys are always redirected back to the play room throughout the day

-          Play room and house is picked up at the end of the day so we start fresh every day. I have the kids help sometimes, sometimes not. I don’t bug Brent about it. It’s my issue.  I want everything in its place for the morning. So if that takes me 15 min each night before I go to bed, I do it.

-          Dishwasher is unloaded  from the day before at lunch (while kids are eating) then loaded from the morning dishes, after dinner we finish loading and run it. We do this every day

-          I make my bed every day and my room is always clean (I know, I am a freak. I actually probably make the bed b/c I got a demerit in bible school for an "unkempt" bed one year J)

-          Kids clean up their rooms when we are done playing upstairs

2.    Constant list of house chores to do

What I do about it:

-          I have 2 laundry days – I don’t do it any other time. I sort, wash and put away those 2 days

-          I thoroughly clean 1 day a week, only the kitchen is cleaned up and the main area vacuumed daily (ok, sometimes there are a few messes around here that I have to clean up other times)

3.    No down/ uninterrupted time during the day

What I do about it:

-          Everybody has rest/quiet time in the afternoon (unless someone decides to be difficult or wake someone up. This happens 10% of the time)

-          I try to keep up with as much as possible while they are awake so that I can actually have “downtime”- which usually means take a shower & read/spend time with Jesus. It doesn’t always happens but it’s always my goal.

4.    Things are to scheduled

What I do about it

-          I am nuts. Although I like a schedule during the week, if I stick to that on the weekend I would shoot myself. There is no schedule for the weekend. We do fun stuff together; we try to fellowship with people as much as possible and serve when we can. We make sure everyone eats, gets a nap and goes to bed and has as much fun as possible.

5.    Brent & I don’t connect (I am really glad this stresses me out. Haha. Probably a good thing)

What I do about it

-          Try to get at least 15 min to have adult talk on week nights. Yes. this is our reality.

-          I always try to make sure we do something intentional over the weekend.   If we can’t get out alone we eat dinner after the kids have gone to bed. We will order out or do fun appetizers. Watch a movie, listen to a teaching, etc. We try to have some sort of date 1x a month out alone.

If you take the above and throw preschool drop off/ pick up, meal times, nap times, dinner time, bed time in there- that’s my weekday schedule. As we go through the day I use table time, room time, basement time etc. as needed. Most of the time during the day I let them do what they want to. If they are getting bored or into trouble, I suggest “Do you want to do this or this?”

Little cuties. Don't they look like angels???

They make big messes though.



Like this. heres the play room.



I have an errands day, laundry days, cleaning day, and organizing/plan day (I make calls, plans, return emails and I plan 5 meals for a week (but I don’t always stick to them, I know, I am such a rebel). The days I do these things change every week but I look at each week and figure out what works.

Some days I have many things to do and it requires more organization on my part. I mostly schedule myself around their routine. It can get crazy and takes lots of multi tasking but that’s why we women are so amazing, right?????

There's a look inside my life. I am glad it's the weekend. no routine or schedule!! :)