my 80's song to God

So, I've been in a strange spot with God.

I don't know if that's the way to put it... but I have been searching big time. We had a lot of transition in our life the last few months but its beyond that. A lot of things have happened around my life that, at times, have caused me to question God. A lot of times I ask "God, who are you?"

Sometimes I think that I haven't even scratched the surface of having a relationship with God. I want more. I see people everyday and break down crying because I want to give the heart of God to them and quite honestly, I don't feel that in sync with heaven like Jesus was. He only knew and did what the father gave him. I can't get his heart fast enough.

I have been thinking about how much God loves us and how much his goodness abounds. You know, God sent his son into the world not to condemn. that's right, not to condemn but to make a way for us to have access to a relationship and become sons of God.  Bill Johnson says, The Son of God became a Son of man so that the son's of men could become son's of God.

I have no idea what it means to act and think like a son of God.

So I was driving in the car with 2 of the kiddos (we were peeping in peoples yards at all their swing sets trying to figure out what we want). God & I were having this conversation and I was sharing how I want to act and think like a son (daughter) of God and how I want to see more fruit. Just like I changed my thinking towards the way I raise my kids and now I see better fruit. That it has to be parallel in my relationship with God. I think he is saying, all along you've been told this is who I am and it made you act and do things like this. But thats not me. It never was. THIS is who I am and THIS is who I created you to be.

And all the sudden I just started singing at the top of my lungs...
"I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME!!!"

What?? where on earth did that 80s song pop up from???

Well, here it is. my song to God right now.