everything seems so perfect

I think about things to blog about alot… but for me sitting down and fleshing it out never seems to happen. That’s why I like facebook. Its random small thoughts. Rather than me having to flesh out a story or opinion. If it doesn’t come easily, I just won’t do it… which may be why I have been blogging less… configuring my thoughts hasn't come easily :). to many deep ones haha.

today… I just want pour out my heart based on some recent things going on in my life.

Many people look at me and feel like I “have it made”… or “everything seems so perfect”…

It’s almost like my life cannot relate to theirs in anyway.

I don’t mean to come across this way.

At all.

In fact, it breaks my heart that people feel that way.

First of all, I battle many things in the secret place that I will never share. Second of all, I am a glass is half full type of person AND I truly believe as a man thinks in his heart – so he his. I choose to dwell and cultivate the art of thinking positively and brilliantly no matter what circumstance is going on around me. Thinking this way, along with the voice of the Holy Spirit is what has turned many situations in my life into overcoming ones.

Right now, I have 3 beautiful children and a husband who rocks. My husband has a great job and yes we are financially blessed. We believe we are financially blessed to steward and give. My children and my husband are NOT perfect- we work on all our relationships and are proactive about keeping them strong.

my life has not been a bed of roses, I have had tribulation in this life.

Here are few Autumn facts that maybe you can relate too:

·         I have suffered abuse

·         My sister died as a child

·         I was suicidal at 2 different points in my life- as a teenager and in my 20’s

·         My mom had a stroke and almost died

·         I paid my way through college by work and gifts

·         Relationships in my family are not perfect

·         I once had many dear people in my life turn their back on me for a season

·         We lived with inlaws for a few months b/c we had nowhere to go

·         We had a house not sell for 2 years and were paying double mortgages

·         Moving 4 states in a few years (NOT easy)

·         3 little kids, part time job and a husband in school & working (many challenges)

I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me with that brief list. I just want you to know I am not ignorant and delusionally happy living a problem free life. I believe what Jesus said—in this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer- I have overcome the world. I like to think he whispers after- you can overcome too!! I posted this on my facebook this week and believe it with all my heart:

God has provision for every circumstance you find yourself in. It doesn't matter if you got yourself there through bad choices. It doesn't matter if you don't deserve to be there. It doesn't matter if you were wrong or right. And if it’s a bad circumstance- it doesn't mean he "allowed" it.
HIS plans for you are for a hope and a future. Seek his face. He has provision for you.

My life is blessed and we have had favor from God in many circumstances. I have had a life FULL of joy. 

God has taught me many things about battling the enemy, putting relationships first, being wise with decisions, working hard & resting, surrounding myself with people that are filled with hope and faith, giving generously, knowing God has given me gifts to steward, having a plan and working toward goals, reaching outward not inward, and seeking his face and kingdom always.

For me, these are part of kingdom principles.

I don’t know if this rant means anything to anyone, but hey, I feel better writing it. No matter where you find yourself in life today—he can give you the keys of heaven to overcome. You were created for a purpose and were born with a destiny. God wants to partner with you in fulfilling it and bring more of his kingdom to earth.

That’s it. I’m done.